


Small Gestures

by Sayl



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 04:24:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14097144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sayl/pseuds/Sayl
Summary: Lissa wants to buy a gift for Baby Lucina back home, and takes Lon'qu with her. When they can't find what she's looking for, Lon'qu has an idea of his own...





	Small Gestures

**Author's Note:**

> For reference: This is a drabble that takes place after the events of an in-progress RP I'm involved in, where Lissa takes Lon'qu into town with her. She wants to buy a present for baby Lucina and Lon'qu is acting as her body guard. Long story short, they end up kidnapped by a large group of bandits and trapped in a cell together where they have a heart-to-heart and get a little closer, and it involved brief hand-holding. This takes place a few months later.

 

_“I didn’t think it would be this hard to find another shop like that in other cities…” Lissa complains with a disappointed sigh.._

    Just a few months earlier, she’d asked Lon’qu to go shopping with her at a town they’d stopped at so she could buy a gift for baby Lucina back in Ylisse. At a local carpentry shop, she’d purchased a small wooden bird and claimed she intended to find a similar gift at each village they passed through. A collection of various wooden animals for her infant niece, it would seem.

    Having had no toys or personal objects of his own as a child, he didn’t quite understand the need for a baby to have so many things. But it seemed rather important to Lissa, so he never questioned it. It was harmless, anyway. If it made her happy, then that was good enough for him. 

    Even if it meant he was the one who would join her on these excursions. Although shopping wasn’t exactly one of his favorite activities, she seemed to like his company for the outings…And after the events that had occurred on that first trip, where they’d found themselves kidnapped and fighting for their lives…He’d be damned if he didn’t go along with her to make sure she was safe. Sure, there were other Shepherds who would be capable of protecting her, but he knew he’d be nervous all the while until they returned…Even if he didn’t fully understand  _why_  yet.

         Besides, she was asking  _him_  to come with her anyway.

     _ **“** I don’t think the villagers in this town are quite as…amicable as the last  **…”**  _The carpenter Lissa had purchased the bird from seemed to be a rather friendly man, one who did so as a hobby. Though there was a woodworking shop in this town, the man who ran it was…not so pleasant. He was gruff and rather irritated when Lissa had asked him about it. Truthfully, he made Lon’qu look approachable by comparison with his sour attitude. They quickly considered that route a lost cause.

    Lissa’s hope had been that another carpenter’s shop would be more promising, but there simply weren’t any others. In fact, this village’s market was much smaller and less crowded. After only an hour and a half, they’ve come full circle with everything the town had to offer. Lissa is visibly let down by the excursion.

    “Yeah, I can’t believe how rude some of the shop owners were! You think they’d be nicer to people who are looking to spend their money with them…” A small pout forms on her bottom lip as they tread across the mostly empty dirt road, not even a cobblestone path paving these streets. She looks up at him, wearing a smile but it doesn’t seem to carry its usual shine. “Well, I guess I won’t be picking one up in  _every_  village we pass through but…Hopefully we can at least find a few more before we head home, hm?”

    He’s quiet for a moment.  _Home_. It’s then that he realizes how different the meaning of that word is for the both of them. She’s talking about Ylisse…But his home is Regna Ferox. After this war was over, they both would likely be going home…And it’s then that he makes the realization…That he’s not going to see her anymore.

    Obviously, he could always visit…But he was used to seeing her daily. He’d grown accustomed to her company to the point where he actually…enjoyed it. The sudden reminder that this is only temporary catches him off guard. He’s silent for a moment, looking at her with a blank expression on his face. Her brows knit together when he doesn’t say anything, confused.

    She reaches for his hand, tugging on it a bit to get his attention, “Hey, Lon’qu? You alright?” It isn’t until then that he is broken from his thoughts. He blinks a few times, returning to the present. He’s painfully aware of her fingers wrapped around his hand and he noticeably tenses, his hand flinching quite a bit at the sudden contact. He can’t think straight when she’s holding his hand like that, so he gently pulls his hand away.

_**“**  I’m…fine **…”**_  he tells her. It’s not really a lie, but it’s not a full truth either. But he’s always internalized his troubles. He can’t bring himself to bring up his sudden change in demeanor.

    Lissa seems a bit hurt that he’s pulled his hand away though. He’d only held her hand once…All those months ago when they were locked in that cell. Even then it had distracted him, overwhelmed his thoughts, but he’d held it until she let go. But as much as he wants to reach back out for her hand again, his body locks up. It’s not just his aversion holding him back, but something else this time. Something deeper that scares him even more.

    “If you say so,” she replies, but it’s obvious she’s not convinced. They make the mutual decision to return to camp, the air awkwardly quieter than usual as they go.

 

* * *

 

    Back at camp the next morning, Lon’qu finds that his usual strikes aren’t landing as they usually do. His swings are unsteady, lacking in his usual control. He can’t focus on his training like he usually does, even in the isolated clearing. With a final, frustrated grunt, he whirls the blade forward and lodges it into the trunk of the large tree near him.

   It’s been getting worse. Oftentimes these days he’d find his thoughts drifting to her. But anymore, it’s far more often than that. Lately, he’s had to forcibly  _push_  her out of his mind to find focus...

    And it’s  _frustrating_. He doesn’t fully understand his feelings, but he’s not ignorant of them. He knows how much he cares about her safety…and he knows that it’s because he cares about her. But try as he might, he can’t seem to stop these feelings from progressing, no matter how much the prospect terrifies him. He stands there for a minute, hands still wrapped around the handle as he leans forward. Sweat drips from his brow as he stares blankly at the ground in front of him, a small brook barely two feet wide. Lon’qu focuses on his breathing, the quiet sound of the water running over the smooth pebbles in the creek bed.

    With a powerful heave, he yanks the blade from where it’s stuck in the tree, a notable gash left in the trunk of the tree. He stares at it for a moment, noticing that the tree is notably worn down as is. There’s a large break in the bark and charred wood lining its side, a section of large branches hanging or fallen on the ground. He stares for a moment, noting how soft the wood had felt when he’d slammed the edge of his sword into the tree. An idea strikes him. Often mindless, repetitive activity was a good way to calm his nerves and clear his mind. He’d often volunteer to peel fruit and vegetables for kitchen duty when he was stressed for this reason. He could likely do the same with wood.

    He sheathes his sword at his hip, walking over to the fallen branch just a few feet away. He picks it up, noticing that it’s a few inches thick in diameter. He runs a finger across the inner rings, examining the texture. The swordsman doesn’t think about it too much, he just pulls the knife from his boot which he’s started hiding there in case of emergencies. He sits down on the grass, just in front of the creek as he cuts a chunk of the fallen foliage apart, then slowly begins to whittle it down…

 

* * *

 

    It’s hours before he shows back up at camp, notably later than he usually spends on his morning drills. But not so long as to arouse worry, it would seem. A few of the shepherds comment on the extended absence when he returns, but he deflects any inquiries with brief answers that don’t really reveal much of anything. Most have given up on trying to pry deeper information out of him anyway by this point.

    Lon’qu makes his way to Lissa’s tent, but he stops. He really can’t just barge into a woman’s tent, as that’s completely inappropriate. But you can’t really knock on a tent flap either like a regular door. He glances around, taking note that no one seems to be paying much attention to him. He doesn’t see Lissa anywhere either though. He lets out a heavy exhale, leaning toward the tent and calling her name, just loud enough that she’d hear it if she was inside, but not enough to draw unwanted attention (or so he hopes).

              _**“**...Lissa  **?”**_

    There’s no answer. He doesn’t hear anyone moving around inside either. He breathes deep, forcing his nerves to calm before he moves. He moves quickly, for fear that he’ll back out if he hesitates at all. He pushes the flap aside and walks in.

    She isn’t there, which is a relief. Perhaps it’s the cowardly part of him winning over, but this would be easier to do than to confront her face to face. He’ll be in and out quickly enough. Within a few strides, he reaches the bedside stand, removing something from his pocket. Carefully, Lon’qu places the object on the small table: a small, hand carved butterfly. Far from perfect, but admittedly impressive for someone who didn’t regularly carve wood. He glances at it for only a moment, wondering if the gesture is ridiculous…or too much…He considers abandoning the mission altogether.

    “Lon’qu? What are you doing in here?”

    He quickly whips around to see Lissa at the entrance, looking rather surprised and certainly confused. His eyes are wide as saucers, not expecting to be caught in the act. He turns on his heel to face her, but his mouth is slightly agape. He doesn’t quite know what to say. He has to tell the truth…As anything else would seem suspicious or  _wildly_  inappropriate for him to barge into her room uninvited, particularly when she’s not there. But he can’t quite form the words to explain, either.

    “I’ve been looking for you, but I didn’t expect to find you here.” She says with a small chuckle, but the way she’s looking at him tells him she’s scrutinizing him, trying to figure out why he’s there like some sort of puzzle. After all, this is extremely out of the ordinary for him. Normally if he’s looking for  _her_ , he just finds her when she’s out and about. But before he can answer her, her keen eyes spot the new addition to the nightstand. “Hey, what’s that?”

    Lon’qu gets out a sound, but not an actual word before she’s right beside him, taking the small carving in her hands and looking it over. She immediately puts two and two together, obviously he’s put it there. She looks up at him, brows raised and eyes wide. Though the surprise remains, the questioning morphs into excitement. She blinks at the swordsman, before looking back down to the wooden butterfly. “This is wonderful, Lon’qu! Thank you!” Her gaze lifts to him again, a wide smile on her face. “But where did you get it? I thought the town didn’t have a carpenter who would make these!”

   Finally he finds his voice, however nervous it might be. He lifts a hand up, as if to wave it off like it’s nothing. _ **“**  Don’t worry about it  **.”**_ The fewer details she knows, the easier it will be for him to keep his resolve.

    But her eyes quickly leave his face and move to his palm. With her free hand, she reaches forward and grabs his, pulling it towards herself to examine it, turning his palm up. It isn’t until then that he realizes why. He hadn’t even noticed, but there are a number of shallow cuts on his hand from the woodworking, where the blade had slipped and nicked his skin. And Lissa knows that those marks weren’t there yesterday, and they’re still red and aggravated, no matter how benign they might be.

    Lissa looks up at him again, this time with a different kind of shock. One that makes the heat creep to his face. “Lon’qu, did you… _make_  this?”

    As nervous as he is, as much as his face has reddened, as unsteady as his own hands feel suddenly: He can’t lie. He wouldn’t want to lie to her anyway, but it takes so much effort for him to finally release a confession. The swordsman looks off tot he side, hoping the lack of eye contact will make it easier. It does (barely).   
_**“**  …Yes  **.”**_

   It’s quiet for a moment, and as nervous as he is, he  _has_  to look at her again. His eyes dart to the side just in time to see her smile return as she lurches forward. Suddenly, he feels her arms wrap around his waist, her cheek pressed into his rib cage. He freezes, his breath hitching as his body locks up. This is one hundred times more potent than the effect of holding her hand. He isn’t sure he’s even breathing. When was the last time someone hugged him? He can’t even  _remember_.

    Lissa didn’t plan to linger long, knowing how he would likely react. But after a couple brief seconds, just before she’s about to pull away, she feels a weight on her shoulder. She hears him exhale, her ear pressed against his chest as it suddenly moves, slow and deep, like he’s…calm. Her eyelids flutter open to see his hand on her shoulder, not pushing her away. He’s not exactly…hugging her  _back_. But, even this is huge for him. His other hand moves to rest on her other shoulder a moment later. Even though he’s still not moving much, she can feel the tension slowly leave him…Her smile widens. Maybe she can get away with a few extra seconds.

    And he allows it. 


End file.
